"When You Are Sad"

khone ka gam na kar,

paane ki chahat kar,

chahte hain hum sabhi tumhe,

bus aage badne ki iccha kar....

agar gir pade kabhi, to sambhalne ki koshish kar..

peeche mat dekh, mera bharosa kar...

koi saath de na de, mein milunga jarur..

vishwash nahi to ek baar aankhe band kar.

tere bharose ne mujhe bharosa dilaya hai..

aansu jo diye tune, to haath bhi badaya hai,

tujh se himmat paayi hai, kuch karne ki kasme khayi hai...

nafrat thi jin cheezon se, wo meine apnayi hai...

likhta bhi hun, rota bhi hun,

magar har shabd teri yaad mein sanjota bhi hun..

khud ko pehchan ek baar,

mere bharose ko kaayam kar...

ek baar phir se uth...

aur is jahan mein apna naam kar...

Suri 
April 8th 2010

winters: " Winters - Part II "

winters: " Winters - Part II ": "Winters………………Part II As Winters are approaching, now I started feeling cold on my way back to home, careless as usual, still not in ..."

" Winters - Part II "

Winters………………Part II 

As Winters are approaching, now I started feeling cold on my way back to home, careless as usual, still not in habit of carrying any jacket along-with, but other things has transformed, preceding winters I was memorizing my sugary memories, the beautiful period and affectionate parley.

The whole lot has changed like -the way from office to home and vice-versa, no stop in between, no more coffees at statue, no more freaking on bike, but senses are still alive and can feel the flavour of eating ice-cream all through ice-cold winters, and that too while driving bike, someone’s hand in my jacket’s pocket and a special care which I always required.

These winters are alike the last one, same jaipur’s frosty nights and warm days, same aroma of roasted peanuts and burnt crackers in surroundings, marketplace is swarming with numerous festival offers, everyone is passionate about shopping from here and there, but in-spite of these similarities I am not very excited about the winters approaching, neither am cherishing my memories, nor I could crib throughout the time, I am also not confused that what should I buy for you on this Diwali, as you made everything so easy for me…..

Winters has a special significance in my life, as I can still make out every remarkable day, whether its 2^nd Feb, or 22^nd Nov, 25th Dec or 5^th Jan and so countless dates. Flower shop was my ultimate destination to grab, and the second vital question was how to present them, I confess that I lied during that era, I lied so that I got a reason to see you, I lied, to have a company for couple of minutes, or at least could have a glimpse for an instance. In spite of being a lethargic by nature I never put you on second number on my priority list, and always thought so selflessly, you were a family, rather I should say “We were a family” but it was me who believed that, not you…..!

I can not just forget and forgive, but still can not curse or pray for your disaster, the implication of “winters” has been changed in my life and that is truly because of you, I am proud as my feelings were pure and I was an audacious to support you in any kind of circumstance. You almost took life out of this body, but I will take this winter as a learning of life and hope you would be happy with your new wisdom and novel life.

From my diary, dated – 10.10.10

Suri

Winters - Part I

“Winters”

These days I am living my last two and a half years. This weather, cool and fresh zephyr and yes our very own Bike reminds me about the good time I spent with you and at Domino’s. Driving bike on a steady pace, munching over the ice-cream while driving, and I still feel your hands in my Jacket’s pockets and your chin resting on my shoulders.

Do you remember the time, when you used to say that I shouldn’t stay overnight at Domino’s especially during winters, and I always used to give reasons for that, But  I was more excited about the morning, when I will see you, while coming to college or dropping you sometime at college gate. That was the hidden pleasure and your smile made that time more precious and immortal. 

Relishing those moments, sitting around the fire outside Domino’s, drinking throughout the night, gossiping, and followed by a special meal i.e.Roopbasant Aalu Paranthas.

Everyday I woke up with a thought, that What should I do to forget you and those memories, but now I have sensed that why should I forget that time when I enjoyed most, I actually lived my life during those 912 days, So why am I acting like a foolish …???

So I don’t regret for anything happened, but I want to express gratitude to god for blessing me with that breathtaking era, he made me feel, what is Love, how to love and he blessed me with a person who loved me, cared me, pampered me and helped me in disaster.

Cooking is something which makes me blissful, and makes my inner soul so contended, and cooking for you was like a delight rather I should use a word like ecstasy. 

Whenever I make you eat with my hands, I felt like the happiest man in this world.

And do you know that why I like it most….??? Because you never complaints or grumbled about any of my preparations….except that soup (Chai walaSoup) ;)

Music…Oh, I used to think that I listen to the best music in the world, but I commit that you gave me such a superb songs that I cant forget and I am in love with those songs. It’s a request….. Why request…?? It’s an order that always update me with all such new songs you came across.

Writing and Reading, most stressful, traumatic work and I used to say that a person like me cant do this at all, But Things have changed, Aah…yes gurl, I have changed, I started writing and that too something meaningful and sensible, But I still love all those messages which I wrote for you, I am writing a poem but that’s incomplete till now but you can expect it as a Diwali Gift.

From my Diary : 13^th Oct 2009

12:00 hrs